Post by steele on Oct 29, 2009 17:10:43 GMT -5
(Scene opens in the office of J.J. Hunter. JJ is sitting at his desk working on his computer when there is a buzz and you here his receptionist over the mic announcing that his 3:00 appointment is here. JJ tells her to send them in.
A few seconds later “All Natural” Tommy Bones come walking in the door. Tommy Bones is wearing a black business suit that is top of the line and a blood red dress shirt. He is clean shaved and his blond flowing hair is in a ponytail. As always Tommy Bones is looking very GQ and weakens the knees of any lady.
Stumbling in behind his is Sebastian St. Claire who is carrying a flip board chart with a bunch of charts with different graphs on them. He is a 6"5" 270 pounds of muscle with a clean shaved head and a crazy look in his eye. He has on orange beach shorts and a blue “A.A. is for quiters” t-shirt. He starts setting up the flip chart while Tommy Bones has a seat at desk accross from JJ.)
Bones: Thank you for meeting with me Mr. Hunter. I know you’re a busy man so I will try to keep this short.
Hunter: It is a pleasure to meet with you. I understand you want to meet about Furious Steele’s contract. I understand we are with an expired contract and I am prepared to make an offer to him.
Bones: That is good to hear. Steele has not been in the federation very long and has already become one of your champions and I would like to see him paid appropriately.
(Hunter slides a contract across the desk to Bones who reads it over and makes a few adjustments on it and slides it back to Hunter who does the same. They slide the contract back and forth a handful of times before both agree on the terms. )
Hunter: I am very happy that we could come to a fair agreement. Is there anything else that I can do for you.
Bones: actually yes. I have a little presentation that I have prepared for you.
(Bones stands up and goes over to the easel that SSC is still struggling to set up. Bones slaps him on the head and finishes setting it up before speaking.)
Bones: I am one of the premier promoters in the world and seeing how you run MWA it is obvious that you’re a brilliant man. I got some research that I think you would find very useful to help further promote the MWA.
(Bones puts up a graph with a bar running left to right that goes up and down slightly and then has a huge spike at one before going back to the normal range).
Bones: You have seen the main data so I won’t bother you with that. Steele’s matches have got very strong ratings and the segments I have done have been HUGE ratings. This graph is a deeper breakdown that I think we can use to our advantage. This graph is of watcher of the show that are labeled with SED or Sever Emotional disturbances, the huge spike is during the Furious Steele’s match. The spike indicates their raised interest level.
Hunter: I assume this is going somewhere.....
Bones: The top three reasons given by these folks for interest are 1) They can relate to Steele 2) They like seeing him get hurt 3) He is even more pathetic then them and that makes them feel better..... I think during his segments we should be pushing prescription drugs. HUGE money maker
(Bones sees the unimpressed look at Hunter’s face and quickly goes to the next graph. It looks almost the exact same as the previous)
Bones: This is a graph of MANBLA members and their interest in the show.... Their interest clearly spikes when Lex Largon is on the show. The ratings are huge with this subgroup for Lex. I think we can take advantage of that.
Hunter: what the hell is MANBLA?
Bones: Man boy love association..... I know it is a little creepy but they like Lex’s baby face, soft skin and tender voice. I am thinking we can get him in some lotion commercials and maybe for razors. Maybe Lex could wrestle in a diaper once and a while. BIG RATING grabber.
Hunter: (looking annoyed) Is this suppose to be amusing me?
(Bones goes to the next graph which you are sure looks exactly like the first two.)
Bones: (nervously) Well this one sir.... um..... I will let my intern explain this one.
(Bones pulls SSC out of his chair and in front of the graph and quickly takes a seat.)
SSC: um. Well this data has indicated that Men who enjoy spending “quality time” with other men, um.... Well really like Nancy Drew segments?
Hunter: (looks pissed now) You know the rules of the federation.... What does Quality time mean exactly?
SSC: uh... It didnt really specify but maybe like walks in the park, going shopping and stuff like that. But the data is clear they think Nancy Drew is a really spiffy dresser, and they like his hair and he keeps himself in GREAT shape.
Hunter: Alright this is over..... On Monday Madness on November 9th, Furious Steele will tag with Suicide and face HBK and Custard Creamer.
(Bones and SSC both burst out laughing like they heard the best joke ever but JJ Hunter doesn’t seem so amused).
Hunter: What is so damn funny?
SSC: A spoof match is a great idea.
Hunter:......................
(Both Bones and SSC look confused).
Bones: HBK and coffee creamer are real wresters? I thought those were just brillant spoof interviews.
SSC:(looks dizzy) I think my world just turned upside down. I am so confused....
Hunter: Out of my office now!!!!
(SSC and Bones start putting together their stuff to leave.)
Bones: But Steele doesn’t play well with others. I don’t think that is a good idea.
Hunter: That sounds like your business problem to work out. Now get OUT!!!.
(As they are leaving)
Bones: (to SSC) Why the hell do the graphs look the same?
SSC: I didn’t know it would matter. People actually look at that crap?
(Scene fades with Bones and SSC running out of the office.)
