Post by steele on Nov 20, 2009 19:56:43 GMT -5
This is before the Great Lakes title match
("People are Strange" by the Doors begins to play over the PA and the lights dim slightly. Furious Steele's video plays on the teletron of the urban areas of Chicago plagued by poverty with quick segments of some of his most vicious matches added in. It is not Steele who appears from behind the curtain but none other then "All Natural" Tommy Bones and his intern Sebastian St. Claire (SSC). The crowd greets the two with a round of boos and a chat of "You Suck". Tommy Bones is clean shaved and has his long blond hair pulled back in a ponytail. He is wearing a top of the line tailor made black silk suit with a blood dress dress shirt. He has gold framed sunglasses covering his eyes and the Great Lakes championship belt around his belt. Sebastian St. Claire is wearing a Shawn Kemp Seattle Supersonics jersey that is faded and ratty with his classic orange beach trunks. He has a clean shaved bald head and his crazy blue eyes are all over the place and he has a goofy smile on his face. The two make their way into the ring and SSC grabs the mic.)
SSC: Hello SEATTLE!!!
(crowd continues to boo the duo)
SSC: I wanted to take the time to remember all the great Sonics throughout history...... the Gary Paytons, the Shawn Kemps, the Detlef Shimpf and Tom Chambers of the past!!!!.
(Crowd is mix of boos but the majority of the crowd cheers the great NBA legends. )
SSC: All of these players had great careers once they got OUT of Seattle!!! A few of them even won championships once they went to a real franchise!!!!
(Crowd erupts in boos and begins throwing beef cups into the ring.)
SSC: You know your a loser of a town when you cant even keep your Franchise from leaving!!!
(Tommy Bones gets a good laugh at the expense of the crowd before taking the mic from SSC).
Bones: Enough making fun of the handicap. I have told you that is not nice...... Onto the business at hand... First off, we got good old Nancy Drew.
(Crowd erupts in cheer at Drew's name which seems to annoy Bones greatly.)
Bones: Is this the kind of hero the idiots in America want now?!?!??! A man who beats on women since he cant win a match...... I know that the MWA is still investigating that matter and I have faith that JUSTICE will be served..... I know that the MWA is not going to make the mistakes of other organizations and allow the women of their company to be terrorized by a man who is trying to compensate for a lack of discipline in the ring.... Who is your favorite musician?
Let me guess, CHRIS BROWN!!!! You people make me sick!!! The coach of the Raiders sounds like a perfect candidate for your football team. We all know your current coach is going to get canned after another horrible season....(Bones paces around the ring a few times to let the crowd calm down some before continuing. )
Bones: All your crying and whining Nancy... All of your terrorizing of women.... All your antics of being the victim...... You had your chance for a title shot and you blew it...... You still have a chance for a title shot but your going to be playing by MY RULES.......... You get a title shot, if you lose,...... When you lose... I own you....... I own your contract for three months!!!! Maybe that is why you are fighting women these days. You have acted like a Bit!%$! for so like you have TURNED INTO ONE!!! Its time to nut up or shut up little boy...... And after you lose, I will take you from that little boy and turn you into a man......
(Bones stares an evil stare into the camera for several seconds before smiling )
Bones: But now onto the task at hand. Se-Bass, you said you had a plan in place to deal with the Empire. Give it to me.
(SSC jumps up and down and does a few jumping jacks to warm up before grabbing the mic. He has a huge smile on his face and the look of pure chaos in his eyes. SSC grabs the mic and sits on top of one of the turnbuckles and looks out at the crowd.)
SSC: When you face a force as powerful as the Empire, you have to be on your toes.... You have to pull in the elite if you hope to have a chance to defeat the Empire... What you need are Rebel heroes!!!
(SSC stands on teh 2nd turnbuckle and points to the entrance with excitement. Star Wars music begins to play over the PA and on the screen is footage of the classic trilogy.)
SSC: Her to destroy the deathstar and take down the empire is none other then Luke SkyHawker!!!
(A middle aged blonde man comes walking down the walk way holding a toy light saber and is dressed in a black robe. he has a large scar on his face but besides that looks unremarkable.)
SSC: Luke is the owner of 10 pawnshops in the Seattle Galaxy and is known to drive down evil PRICES!!!!
(Luke walks down to the ringside area and takes a jedi type pose.)
SSC: Next we have his is lovely sister Prince Lay-me..
(What comes from behind the curtain is not lovely or a sister. It is a rather ugly fat man who is clearly cross dressing. He has on a dominatrics outfit like like Princess Leah wore when she was captured by Jabba the Hut, except at the end of the chain is not jabba but a large green exotic sex toy. Prince Layme does have his hair done in two large buns and he strolls to the ringside with flab hanging over most of his outfit. He wraps the chain around one of the post corners and starts begging members of the crowd to save him from "Pokey the Butthunter")
SSC: You can see Prince Lay-me performing at MR. Fuzzy's exotic dancing lounge......... Next we have the power house of the Rebel force of course is Charlie Bakka!!!! He is one of the oldest and finest taxidermist in the Seattle area!!!
(Out comes a large lumberjack looking fellow. He stands easily 6'7" and 300 pounds. He has a large brown beard that goes down almost to his belt buckle. He is wearing a brown bear costume and has a supersoaker 4000 ready to rock and roll. He lets out a big "RAWWWRRR!!!!!" as he joins the others at ringside.)
SSC: And lastly, the most important member of the Rebel force. The master that teaches the ways of the force to Luke which allows him to overcome the Empire... Odie!!!!!
(A 3 foot tall asian midget comes out from behind the curtain. he is wearing a olive green suit and has a two by four in his hand. As he scuttles down to ringside SSC continues to talk.)
SSC: Odie is the master of selling used cars and has forced hundreds of suckers into over priced lemons!!!!
(This entire time Tommy Bones has stood in the ring in complete shock at what he is seeing. Finally he shakes out of it and grabs the mic from SSC. )
Bones: What the hell is this?
(SSC grabs the mic looking very proud of himself.)
SSC: The misdirection play.. They will never see this coming...
Match entrance begins
