Lets go to the movies

[Scott Smith]

Audrey Andrews is standing in her driveway, waiting for Jack of Spades to come pick her up to go watch a movie. She is wearing a red dress.

Audrey Andrews - Is he even coming? We are going to be running late, or he stood me up.

Suddenly there is a rumbling noise that gets closer and closer. Jack drives up on a Harley Davidson motorcycle. He is wearing jeans, boots, a purple shirt and a black leather jacket.

Audrey Andrews - Is there anyone in MWA that doesn’t have a bike?

Jack - You ready chere?

Audrey Andrews - I’ve been ready for an hour. You know the movie is supposed to start in about ten minutes? There is no way you can make it there on time.

Jack laughs as Audrey gets onto the back of the bike.

Jack - That sound like a challenge to Jack.

Audrey Andrews - Oh no..

Jack - Hold on tight!

Jack guns the engine and the bike shoots off into the distance and Audrey squeezes Jack for dear life.

Jack - Maybe not that tight chere, Jack having a hard time breathing..

A FEW MINTUES LATER

Jack and Audrey are walking towards the lobby of the movie theater after buying their tickets.

Jack - Big line.

Audrey Andrews - That’s what happens on the FIRST DAY of a movie.

Jack - Yeah. I remember that next time. I plan on going to get some real dinner after this movie is over, do we need to stop and get you something to eat or drink inside the movie?

Audrey Andrews - If we are going to dinner later then I’ll be fine.

Jack - Ok, we better hurry. We’re missing the previews. I think they show the new Transformers, or Terminator, or G.I. Joe, or..

As they walk into the theater, a preview for a cartoon movie is playing.

Audrey Andrews - Or Disney’s movie “Up”.

Jack - What? I wanted to see a G.I. Joe movie..

Audrey Andrews - There aren’t as many people here as I thought there would be. I thought this Wolverine movie was going to be a big deal?

Jack - Well, we are at the 4 pm show. It not like it’s 8 or 10 pm. Those houses be packed for sure.

Audrey Andrews - Or everyone is out watching Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.

Jack - Ha ha ha ha you are a funny one. Were you want to sit?

Audrey Andrews - Here about in the middle should be good.

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Audrey and Jack are leaving the theater.

Audrey Andrews - So.. What did you think?

Jack - I don’t know. I had no idea who half those people were or what was going on. It was ok I guess. Maybe I have a better idea of the movie if I wasn’t so distracted most of the way through.

Audrey Andrews - That Gambit guy was kind of cool, don’t you think?

Jack - Ba. That guy Cajun? Jack don’t think so! Nothing about him say he a Louisiana boy. Where is accent? Is line about “Do I owe you money?” was pretty good and he got style I give him that. Card tricks pretty good too. But maybe if they make a movie for him I go to the casting office and give it a try, yeah?

Audrey Andrews - I need to use the restroom. I’ll be right back and then you can take me to dinner.

Jack - Sure thing chere. I be waiting right here.

[brandonripley]

You see two hardcore X-Men fans, one wearing a Juggernaut costume, and another wearing a Deadpool costume. Jack and Audrey hear some of their conversation.

Juggernaut - Yeah I'm the Juggernaut bitch!

Deadpool - You may be, but "The Merck with the Mouth" is always better at doing what Wolverine does.

Juggernaut - AHHHHHHHHHH! I will put you through the wall head first if you don't get off my back and lay off the smart comments.

Deadpool - Ooooh did I just strike a nerve? Does that mean I just won a car?

"Juggernaut" and "Deadpool" take their seats in the very back of the theater.

The previews start. The screen says "This movie is rated AC for Awkward Coincidence."

Narrator - One is a wrestler, and the other, well she's a wrestler too. They meet randomly backstage and decide to go to a movie together. They end up meeting this strange duo wearing cartoon character costumes, and life has never been the same for them.

Jason of Shovels - Big line.

Anne Agnews - That's what happens on the FIRST DAY of a movie.

The Z - Yeah I'm the Luggernaut bitch!

Brian Liprey - Ooooh does thou just strucketh thy nerve?

Narrator - Ashton Kutcher plays Anne Agnews in the family sitcom movie "Why Did We Go to the Movies, Because The Z and Brian Liprey are Sitting Right Behind Us and are About to Make This Date a Living Hell." Coming to theaters worldwide Decemburary 32nd.

Audrey - Well that's an oddly specific name for a movie.

Jack - Well it's like they're trying to tell us something.

Jack of Spades looks behind at the other two people.

Jack - Well it's good that I don't believe in that kind of stuff, so let's just watch the movie.

Deadpool - Wow that has to be the worst movie ever. What was up with that gigantic belt around Brian's waist?

Juggernaut - And The Z was pretty insane. Who would ever say anything like that? But the worst had to be Anne and Jason. They remind me of that nerdy couple up there in the middle.

Deadpool - Juggie, you're not going to believe this, but that's MWA's Audrey Andrews and Jack of Spades. We should get their autograph.

Juggernaut - Better yet, we should just throw buttered popcorn in Audrey's hair. They got pwned as a tag team, and they're even worse as a couple.

Deadpool - I just wish the Extreme Regime was here. I would be all over that.

Juggernaut - Yeah bitch! Extreme Regime rocks dude!

Jack - Do you mind? I'm on a date and I would love to hear this movie.

Juggernaut and Deadpool go up to Audrey and Jack. Juggernaut takes off his mask. It's The X!!

The X - Yeah I'm The X bitch!!

The X messes up Audrey's hair.

Audrey - What the heck was that for? Well wait a second, if you're X, then... Alexander Ritter?

Audrey stands up to take off his mask. It's Brandon Ripley. Brandon goes in quickly to kiss Audrey against her will.

Brandon - Haha Jack. I got a kiss before you did. What are you going to do about it? Hold J. J.'s hand and hope that he fixes this situation for you? I don't think that would be good for you seeing that you're with your girlfriend... THAT I KISSED!!

Jack - You know what? Yeah I will let him solve this out. I'll make sure to get your ass in the ring and take that MWA World Title out of your hands. But before I steal your title, this is how you steal a kiss.

Jack leans over Audrey and kisses her passionately. Audrey leans back onto the seat and accepts the kiss. Jack holds her hand, with fingers locked in, and pulls back from the kiss.

Jack - Now that's how you steal a kiss!

In shock, Brandon and X leave the theater.

X - We saw this movie already anyway.

Audrey - Wow that was awesome....

Jack - How I showed them off?

Audrey - No the kiss...

Audrey puts her head on Jack's shoulder, and wraps her right arm around Jack's left arm and watch the movie.

AFTER THE END OF THE MOVIE

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You can fill in the blank area with all of that. Didn't think I could stir up a really romantic situation like that now did you?? But I'm sure most of you will be laughing at the movie preview that was way too specific.

[brandonripley]

Oh and by the way, I went to the drive-ins last night, and Wolverine was playing. First off I like how they had a lot of the famous characters in that movie. To my surprise Juggernaut really was in the movie. Although I've very depressed what they did to Deadpool. Like yes it explains how he got his teleporting and regenerating abilities that I love him for, but he never had the Optic Blast of Cyclops. Also he was never so tough that almost nothing could hurt him. And better yet, how the hell did they make him a zombie when his real character ends up never being like that?? Other than that, the rest of the movie kicked ass though.